Revenge Cheating: What You Need to Know

Revenge cheating is not uncommon. It involves a person who will seek sexual satisfaction outside of the relationship through emotional attachment to another person after a break-up or divorce. This is typically done to hurt the former lover to hurt them emotionally. However, revenge cheating can lead to future psychological issues, including depression and lack of self-worth.

It is a real issue in relationships today. It doesn’t consider feelings or morals but instead looks at the value of ending the relationship by any means necessary. If revenge cheating means breaking up with someone for someone else and dating that person, then it’s a form of score-settling.

This article explains how revenge cheating works, why people engage in this behavior, and what you can do if you suspect your partner is doing it.

What Is Revenge Cheating?

Revenge cheating is when a person who has been cheated on seeks to get even with the person who betrayed them by cheating. It is widespread when the cheater is married or in a long-term relationship. In this case, revenge cheating can result from years of emotional and sexual neglect by one’s partner.

Many people who have been cheated on view their partner’s infidelity as a betrayal of trust. In some cases, they feel that they have invested so much time into their relationships that they deserve better treatment than what they received from their unfaithful partners.

Types of Revenge Cheating

There are different types of revenge cheating, each with unique characteristics and implications. They include:

Emotional Cheating

This is when you are emotionally involved with someone other than your partner but do not physically cheat. You might be emotionally engaged with someone you work with or have a friendship with. When someone is emotionally cheating on their partner, they usually feel guilty about it and may think they need to hide it from their partner.

Dating Cheating

When you date someone else while still in a relationship with another person, this is considered dating cheating. Dating cheating is different from emotional cheating because it involves physical contact between the two involved in the affair.

Sexual Cheating

Sexual cheating is when a person engages in sexual activities with someone other than their partner, such as kissing or having sex with another person. It can also include sexting (sending sexual messages), exchanging nude photos, or sending cell phone text messages. over the Internet

How Does Revenge Cheating Happen?

Revenge cheating usually happens in response to being lied to, manipulated, or abused by the partner. It can also occur if your partner has betrayed your trust.

Because revenge cheating is often driven by feelings of anger and hurt, it can be difficult for people to resist the temptation to do it. But it would help if you didn’t give in because revenge cheating will only cause more problems in your relationship.

Being said that, revenge cheating can happen in several ways:

  • Someone who was previously cheated on will cheat on someone else as payback for what happened to them
  • Some people will look for someone else to cheat with because they’re unhappy in their relationship, but know that if they break up with their current partner instead of ending things cleanly, it’ll hurt more than if they cheated first (and then broke up).
  • Some people cheat on an ex-partner as revenge for breaking up with them (even if it wasn’t their fault).

What Are Some Signs of Revenge Cheating?

Revenge cheating is typically seen in relationships already experiencing problems, such as when one or both partners feel neglected or unloved by the other. It can be challenging to identify because it can look like regular infidelity at first. However, there are some signs that your spouse might be engaging in revenge cheating:

  • They have a sudden behavior change and become more secretive about their phone use and time spent away from home.
  • You find suspicious text messages, emails, or social media posts on their phone or computer that seem out of character for them.
  • Your partner has been spending more time away from home — especially when you’re not around — for no apparent reason (such as work-related issues).
  • They keep making excuses for why they need to leave early from dates and outings with you, even when there doesn’t seem to be anything going on at work that would require their attention.
  • They start spending more time at work than before. They suddenly become more secretive and private.
  • They avoid family gatherings and other events where they know their partner will be present.
  • They stop talking about their relationship, marriage, or anything related to it with friends and family members.
  • Their mood swings drastically from one day to another without any apparent reason. When confronted about it, they get defensive instead of opening up and discussing things with you openly and honestly, as usual.

Does Revenge Cheating Make Someone Feel Better?

The answer is no.

When we cheat on our partners, we often feel like we’re getting even with them and that it will make us feel better. In reality, cheating only makes us feel worse.

Cheating on your partner is not only a betrayal of their trust but also of yourself and your values. When you cheat, it’s usually because something isn’t right in your relationship — so why would you expect it to be okay just because you cheated suddenly?

Cheating creates more problems for everyone involved. It makes the other person suspicious and jealous, which leads to more arguments and resentment between you and your partner. It can also destroy any trust that was once there between you two — if there was any in the first place — which means that your actions have destroyed any chance at having a healthy relationship.

You may think that cheating will provide an escape from all of this drama, but this is far from true! Cheating puts one more burden on everything else going wrong in your life, making things even more stressful than before cheating occurred.

Revenge Cheating Is Not Justifiable

If you’re considering revenge cheating, you must stop asking yourself why. What is it that you want to achieve? Are you hoping to make your ex jealous? Do you want to make them feel bad? Or are you looking for some satisfaction from making them suffer?

If the answer is yes, then think again. Because one thing is for sure: if you cheat on your partner to get back at them for cheating on you, it won’t work.

Revenge Cheating Is Not Justifiable

To start with, revenge cheating isn’t justifiable. Even if your partner did something wrong, don’t stoop down to their level by doing something similar or worse in return – this makes both of you look bad.

The first thing to understand about revenge cheating is that it doesn’t fix anything in the long run. Cheating on someone doesn’t make you feel better about being cheated on — it just makes things worse for everyone involved.

Revenge cheating often creates more problems than it solves because it creates an environment where people constantly look over their shoulders and distrust each other. This leads to relationship breakdowns and even divorce down the road, as well as emotional trauma for everyone involved.

Reasons to Avoid Revenge Cheating

Revenge cheating can be tempting, and it might seem like a good idea at the time. But it’s never okay to hurt someone else just because they’ve hurt you, and revenge cheating can cause severe problems for everyone involved. There are also many reasons to avoid revenge cheating. Here are a few:

  • Revenge cheating is never worth it. There’s no way to get back at someone for hurting you without hurting yourself. If you think you can use revenge cheating to make yourself feel better, think again — this will only worsen matters!
  • It’s not healthy to seek revenge all the time, no matter how justified it may seem in the moment. If this is something you’re prone to do (and if so, why?), it’s time to stop it before it gets out of hand and becomes a significant part of your life.
  • Revenge cheating won’t change anything or make anyone respect or appreciate you more than they already do. If anything, it’ll only make things worse by making them angry and resentful instead of remorseful for what they did wrong!

Feel Your Partner Is Cheating You? Here’s What to Do

If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, it can be challenging to confront them about it. People cheat for several reasons, but they often feel that their relationship is not satisfying enough. If you think that your partner is cheating on you, here are some steps you can take:

  • Do not assume they are cheating because you have a gut feeling.
  • If possible, try to communicate with your partner about how they feel about the relationship and whether they would like to explore other options, such as having an affair.
  • If there are no signs of any severe problems in your relationship and they seem happy with everything else, then it might be best to benefit from the doubt until you have more evidence that something is wrong.
  • Suppose there are signs of trouble in your relationship (e.g., lack of communication and intimacy). In that case, it might be worth looking into these issues before jumping to conclusions about what’s happening behind your back!

Final Thoughts

Being cheated on is a horrible feeling; unfortunately, it’s one that many people have to deal with at some point. That makes the advice in this article even more valuable! The tips will help you get through a breakup and return to the dating world again much more quickly. And remember: there are plenty of great people out there for you—you need to believe that to make it happen.


  • Boon, S. D., Deveau, V. L., & Alibhai, A. M. (2009). Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(6-7), 747–768. 
  • Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2010). The benefits, costs, and paradox of revenge. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 4(12), 1193–1205. 

Hi, I am Happy. I'm a professional writer and psychology enthusiast. I love to read and write about human behaviors, the mind, mental health-related topics, and more.