Why can’t you stop thinking about your partner? There may be many reasons, such as; attachment anxiety, concerns about the importance of the relationship, the sense that things have changed, the fear of being abandoned, etc.
However, these are all thoughts, and it is possible to change these negative thoughts, which may improve your overall mood and quality of life. This article will cover some practical activities to help you address and cope with these thoughts.
6 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Partner
You spend so much time together; you know them better than anyone. You know what they like and don’t like and how to make them happy.
But you can’t stop thinking about your partner.
You always think about them — even when you don’t want to. When you wake up in the morning, they’re the first thing on your mind. They are still on the brain when you go to bed at night. When you’re out with friends or family, they still consume all of your thoughts.
You want to know where they are and what they are doing at all times. And if someone mentions their name in conversation, it’s like an electric shock to your system that makes every hair on your body stand up straight as a board.
This feeling is hardly new — most people who have been in a new or long-term relationship — but it makes me wonder: What exactly is happening here? Why can’t we stop thinking about our partners? Let’s learn the reasons.
- You miss them when they’re gone.
- You think about their smile, laugh, or look at you.
- Your partner is supportive and always there for you when you need it most.
- You are reminded of your partner whenever you see something that reminds them — like a picture or a memento from one of your dates or vacations together!
- You love being around them so much!
- You have a strong emotional connection that makes it impossible to forget them even if you tried.
7 Signs It Might Be a Problem If You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone
If you constantly think about your partner and the relationship, it could be a sign that things are going well. But sometimes, we can get so caught up in the excitement of a new relationship or getting over an old relationship that we overlook warning signs that something isn’t quite right.
It’s normal to think about your partner, even when you’re not with them. However, if you find it hard to stop thinking about your partner during the day, this could signify emotional dependence and a lack of independence. Here are some signs that might help you understand the signs when it becomes a problem:
- You constantly think about them (even when they’re not around).
- You check their social media accounts multiple times per day or try to catch glimpses of them in public places.
- You call them multiple times per day even though they told you not to contact them at work (or anywhere else).
- You don’t feel like yourself without them around — whether they’re physically present or not.
- You become easily upset by small changes in their routine or behavior (for example, if they stop sending you regular texts).
- You start experiencing panic attacks when you’re apart from each other for more than a few hours at a time; you get nervous if they don’t respond immediately when you text them or call them, or you worry about what they’re doing and how long they will be away from you (because it will feel like forever).
- You are unable to concentrate on anything else except your relationship.
How to Stop Thinking About Your Partner?
If you find yourself constantly thinking about your partner and wondering what they are doing or even what they are thinking, there are ways that you can stop this behavior and move on with your life.
- Stop monitoring their social media accounts.
This is one of the most common ways people can become obsessed with their partners. If you constantly check their social media accounts to see what they’re up to, then it is time for you to stop doing this and put some distance between you and them. You don’t need to know everything they do all the time, so try to check up on them sparingly.
- Spend more time with friends.
Another way that people can become obsessed with their partners is by spending all of their time together with each other. If this is happening in your relationship, try spending more time with friends and family members instead of just hanging out with each other all day, every day of the week. It will help reduce the amount of time.
- Take up new hobbies and interests outside of your relationship.
When we’re in a relationship, we spend most of our time with that person — which means we don’t get much opportunity to meet new people or do new things on our own! So make sure to do something different every week: sign up for an art class or join a gym, take your dog on a hike, watch a movie with friends, etc.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
Writing down your thoughts can help you get things off your chest and move on from them more quickly than if you think about them constantly in your head. It also helps identify patterns in how you think so that you can change those patterns into more positive ones in the future.
- Set aside time for yourself.
If you think about your ex or ex-partner frequently, set aside a time just for you each day. Spend this time doing something relaxing or enjoyable so that you can take a break from any negative thoughts that may be consuming your mind.
You might constantly think about what went wrong in your relationship, so try to avoid dwelling on the past. Instead, focus on the present and what you need to do to move forward with your life.
While it might not be practical to use every suggestion, it’s important to remember that every relationship is different and what works for one couple may not work for another. In other words, you should be encouraged if a particular strategy doesn’t work for you.
Instead, try focusing on your relationship’s positives and making your partner feel special. The good news is that there are many ways to do this, so don’t hesitate to experiment with a few different options until you find something that works for you. In the end, if nothing helps, consult a therapist who can help you cope with it.
- Read, D. L., Clark, G. I., Rock, A. J., & Coventry, W. L. (2018). Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of Emotion Regulation Strategies. PLOS ONE, 13(12). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0207514