Have you ever experienced a breakup? Perhaps it was devastating and left you feeling somewhat empty inside. The chances are that emptiness led to some form of a rebound relationship. Rebound relationships can be fun but rarely successful.
This article will explain why most rebound relationships don’t work out and how you could find yourself in one. But first, let’s look at why people get into rebound relationships.
Why Do People Get Into a Rebound Relationship?
When you’re in a rebound relationship, you’re trying to fill a void that another person left. You may be looking for companionship, intimacy, or even love. When you’re in a new relationship, your brain releases a chemical called dopamine. This is the same chemical released when you eat chocolate or have sex.
Dopamine makes you feel good, but it doesn’t last long. Once your body stops releasing dopamine, it needs to be re-released to feel good again — hence the need for another fix of chocolate or sex, or drugs. The same thing happens when we get into rebound relationships: We get out of one relationship and immediately jump into another to release more dopamine and feel good again.
In other words, many reasons people decide to engage in rebound relationships. Some people do it simply because they want companionship and don’t want to be alone while healing from their last relationship.
Others may feel pressure from friends or family members who are worried about their ability to cope with being alone after their breakup or divorce. Some people even use rebound relationships as an opportunity to try out new things or learn more about themselves before making another commitment for the long term.
Here are a few reasons for getting into a rebound relationship:
- They want to feel better about themselves after a breakup or divorce
- They’re afraid of being alone (the fear of being alone is called “avoidant attachment”)
- They have an insecure attachment style (people who have an insecure attachment style tend to be overly dependent on their partner)
- They haven’t dealt with their feelings from their last relationship yet (e.g., anger, resentment);
- They’re still in love with their ex and want to prove that they can get over them
Why Do Rebound Relationships Fail?
Rebound relationships can be difficult and often fail because the couple is still in the process of getting over their previous relationship and are not ready to move on. This is especially true when one partner has already moved on while the other has not.
Here are some reasons why rebound relationships fail:
- You’re not ready to be in a relationship.
- Your new partner is too similar to your ex.
- You’re trying to heal your heart by jumping into another relationship too soon after a breakup or divorce.
- There’s no real connection between you and your rebound partner — just physical attraction.
- You don’t have time for a rebound relationship because you need time alone to heal from the breakup or divorce before moving on with someone new (which takes months or years).
- You’re using your partner as a distraction from your problems at home or work.
- You’re looking for an escape from loneliness instead of finding someone who makes you happy on its merits.
- It’s easy for both partners to get wrapped up in their emotional baggage during a rebound relationship; this can cause resentment and make things messy down the road if they don’t get resolved before moving forward together as a couple.
So, How Do You Know When It’s Time to Move on?
If you feel like you’re in a rebound relationship, it’s time to move on. Here are some signs that it’s time to let go of your rebound partner:
- You’re not happy when you’re with them
It’s essential to be honest with yourself about how you feel. If you’re not happy when you’re with your rebound partner, then he’s not the one for you.
- The connection isn’t there.
You may have felt love at first sight or had an instant connection, but after a few months, it’s clear there isn’t much chemistry between you.
- They don’t treat you well.
If your partner treats you poorly or doesn’t respect your feelings or opinions, it’s time to end things with them. If they are disrespectful or mean-spirited toward other people or animals in front of you, that should also be a red flag.
- You don’t want to introduce them to friends and family members, yet
If you’ve been dating for a while and still haven’t taught them to anyone yet because they might disapprove of his past relationships (or lack thereof), then it might be time to break up with him before things get serious.
What Makes a Good Rebound?
A good rebound relationship benefits both parties involved in it. When people enter a rebound relationship, they are usually hurt by their last relationship. They need time to heal before jumping back into another one so quickly after being hurt by their ex-partner.
The problem with this, though, is that it can cause people to jump from one relationship to another without giving themselves time to heal from their last breakup before moving on to someone new; which leaves room for more pain down the road in their future if they don’t take care of themselves before jumping right back into another relationship right away after getting out of one that ended poorly for them beforehand.
The best rebound relationships will be easy, fun, and make you feel good. They’ll give you that chance to show a new side of yourself, and they’ll be an opportunity to get back into the dating game with a fresh perspective.
The best rebound relationships are those where you can be yourself and learn more about what you want in a partner. They should be low-pressure and stress-free — not just because they’re a rebound, but because they’re meant to be fun.
For some people, this might mean spending time together without labeling it as something serious or exclusive. For others, it could mean taking things slow or being open about what you’re looking for in terms of commitment level (if any).
If you’ve recently ended a relationship and are looking for a rebound relationship, here are some things to keep in mind:
How to Make a Rebound Relationship Last Longer?
Rebounding may feel like the easiest way to move on from a breakup, but it can be tricky if you’re not careful. Here are five ways to ensure your rebound relationship lasts longer than a one-night stand.
- Don’t rush into things.
- Be open and honest with your new partner.
- Give them space when they need it.
- Don’t try too hard to please them at first; let them get to know the real you first!
- Once you’ve gotten past all of the awkwardness, try to push past those initial feelings and make it work!
In the end, your emotional reaction to the relationship is essential. That helps you make the critical distinction between rebound relationships and the real thing because it’ll be easier—for better or worse—to tell if you’re doing this not just because you want to but also because you need to.
- Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. (2014). Too fast, too soon? an empirical investigation into rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(1), 99–118. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407514525086